From Stilettos to Sweatpants: How Motherhood Changed My Wardrobe (And My Life)

Officially, my life changed on December 23, 2009, the day I became a mom; or to be exact, 262 days ago.

Thus my story begins...

So here I am, a young, newly married 23 year old in the prime of her life (well, sort of). My husband was serving in Iraq and came home for R and R (those of you not familiar with military terms: R and R stands for rest and relaxation) and since we had just endured 6 very, very long months of no sex, we got. it. on. And that was the very same night that we conceived our son.

I was pretty pleased that my pregnancy was going so well. I always heard horror stories about pregnancy so I was pleasantly surprised that I did not get morning (noon or night) sickness. For the first trimester I didn't even feel pregnant; except for the fact that I couldn't drink, which was a HUGE bummer because I absolutely love a nice glass of Riesling. Since I was nausea free, of course something else had to act up, which was my face. Oh yes. My face looked like a minefield of zits. If you can imagine this, it was pretty bad, but probably not as bad as I am letting on. Granted, before pregnancy my face was crystal clear with the occasional pimple during That Time of Month (eh-hem), so when pimples started popping up out of nowhere, I was utterly disgusted.

Not only did I feel blessed about not getting morning sickness, I thought I was lucky because I did not get any stretch marks...that is, until the very end. I'm talking like 3 weeks before I popped that little sucker out. 3 weeks, come on!! I prayed to the Stretch Mark God everyday and applied creamy cocoa butter lotions every night, but to no avail, I was blessed with the official stamp of motherhood. Nothing screams "MOM" like a belly that could serve as a roadmap. Thank God I'm married because only my husband could love a stomach like that (can I get an "Amen, sista!").

But before the pimples and the stretch marks, I was pretty hot. If I don't toot my own horn, who will? (toot toot, toot toot) I loved wearing nice clothes, staying "hip" on the trends, wearing stilettos, and taking 2 hours to do my hair and makeup. But now, you ask (chuckle), I. Don't. Have. Time. Period. Nice clothes...do Express brand yoga pants count? Staying hip on the trends...yeah, ok. I barely have time to go to the grocery store, better yet the mall! Stilettos...ha! I traded in my Steve Maddens for Sauconys. Two hours for hair and makeup...that is not a luxury I can afford anymore. Maybe, maybe my newborn allows me 2 minutes to shower, brush my teeth, wipe my ass, throw on sweats and a hoodie and grab something to eat, and even then I'm pushing it.

But despite all this; despite having to trade-in Juicy Couture for Juicy Poo-ture, I love being a mom.