Sunday, January 24, 2010

Shopping Day

Yesterday I finally was able to have some Mommy Time (thanks to my patient and loving husband who watched LJ while I was gone). My friend Jill and I went to the mall and had a blast. It was nice to 1. be able to talk to my girlfriend 2. not have an infant attached to the boob every other hour and 3. spend some money. Before Jill came to pick me up, I was afforded the luxury of a long shower where I was even able to shave (also thanks to my husband because I am sure he wanted to once again feel the soft, silky legs that used to be his wife's), after which I blew-dried my hair and put on make-up. I was feeling good and looking good, but that is where my good mood stopped. I was in a pickle. I had nothing to wear! Let me rephrase that: I could wear nothing from my huge closet because all my clothes fit my pre-pregnancy body and not my post one. I of course could choose from the small selection of maternity clothes I have, which included the super-baggy and completely unattractive pair of maternity jeans that I cannot wait to discard; OR I could have sorted through my already worn, slightly puked on pile of sweatpants that I have been living in since I gave birth. Umm? What to do, what to do. So I choose the latter; a pair of black yoga pants that are much more flattering than maternity jeans when you're not pregnant. They didn't have any visible puke stains and smelled fairly fresh, so I put them on and focused on finding a shirt.

Now, I was looking for a specific kind of shirt. One that was not mid-drift bearing, see-thru, or accentuated my tat-tas. Unfortunately, that eliminated my entire closet. No, I'm just kidding, but it did cut my possible selection down to about 25%. Lucky me. Thus I opted for a V-neck, 3/4 length sleeve, plain white shirt. It was a bit on the low-cut side and as I later learned, it was a bit short and kept riding up my back, revealing the stretch marks that plastered all areas of my stomach. But other than that, it was a decent choice and went well with the yoga pants. I paired some pumas with my outfit, put on my watch and my sparkling wedding band and I was good to go.

So here we are, standing face to face with the front entrance of possibly the only place in the world that feels like home to me (Dillard's) and I suddenly feel self-conscious. I am feeling this way for two reasons: 1. because I am now realizing that the shirt I chose was definitely not the best choice, and 2. because I ate left-over chili for lunch and have been "passing gas" since I unbuckled my seat belt. Great. Nonetheless, it is Mommy Time and I haven't gotten that since, well, my little man arrived. So I put my game face on and walked into a little piece of heaven that I call "The Shoe Department." I was a little disappointed in myself. I didn't find my usual patent leather stilettos appealing, and instead found myself gawking at the Jessica Simpson flats and the Dansko display. My thought process here goes like this, " Well...I can't push a stroller wearing high-heals, so if I go with Jessica Simpson I'll still be trendy. And the Danskos...they sure are comfortable AND they do have patent leather!" In the end, I left with a pair of Pumas that were on sale because you can never go wrong with stylish sneakers (and because the ones I was wearing needed to be retired).

The rest of our shopping excursion was fun and successful. The only other purchase I made was from Victoria's Secret where I bought some much needed new underwear. The pre-preganancy me was strictly a thong girl, but the post-pregnancy me (and the much wiser and slightly larger me) realizes that normal underwear not only provides more coverage for my back side, but is also much more comfortable than dental floss for my ass. Maybe, with the help of Jillian Michaels, I will one day be able to wear my old friends again; but until then, I need all the extra coverage I can get!

As our day comes to an end, and we head back to the car, I make a split decision to release any left-over gas bubbles that may sneak out during the ride home. Unfortunately, I released them a little too close to the car and they followed me inside. I pretended like I didn't notice the peculiar smell that had filled the car, while my friend exclaimed, "My car smells like bathroom!" I tensed up, thinking that I was caught, but no, I had something clever to say, "Did you fart?" Jill, "No." "Yeah, neither did I. Hmm....weird." Clever my ass! She knew, she knew! So Jill if you're reading this, it was me my friend. It was me. As we neared my house, I felt a tingle in my heart, well actually, it was my left boob letting me know that it was full and needed to be emptied, but nonetheless, I missed my little man! My night ended by going out to dinner with my hubby, LJ, and mother-in-law, then falling asleep with LJ on my chest.

So despite not having any clothes to wear, not automatically going to the shoes that use to make me happy, and not being able to wear my usual sexy panty, I love being a mom!

1 comment:

  1. Your stories are priceless!! I cannot wait to see what else you share with us. Youre adorable!!

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